Shame and Money

shame and money

Except for politicians who need to have full transparency and detailed liquidation about their project expenses and business income, no one is obligated to tell the world about his current financial status. But is it true that shame and money is somehow related?. How does money bring about shame?.

Shame and Where It Comes From

Shame comes in when a person feels less of himself because of his past and present experiences.

When a person had a traumatic experience like rape, bankruptcy and property loss, being involved in a criminal case, or some things of the sort, it is most likely that the person will feel that he is undeserving of everything good that will come his way. He will try to hide the experience by lying about it or avoiding the issue.

Shame comes in when a person feels less of himself because of his past and present experiences. When a person had a traumatic experience like rape, bankruptcy and property loss, being involved in a criminal case, or some things of the sort, it is most likely that the person will feel that he is undeserving of everything good that will come his way. He will try to hide the experience by lying about it or avoiding the issue.

Disclosing information about your money problems or telling someone the whole story behind can be inconvenient, especially when you feel like you have to let everyone know and you have to do it every time. Different people react to shame differently, depending on their former status and coping mechanism.

Solution 1: Lie About It

This probably is the easiest way out in any situation. All you have to do is act like nothing’s wrong and then lie about it when asked. You can also cover up the problem by going on with your usual spending routine as if you’re not undergoing a financial turmoil. The Drawback: Do not start asking why people find it hard to trust you. A lie is a lie, no matter how big or small it is and whatever your reason is. Transparency also makes it easier for people to understand when you decline a night out or when you said you can’t get them an expensive gift.

Solution 2: Borrow

There are financial institutions that can loan you with your needed amount. This will help you pay up all your liabilities or maybe just keep up with your daily needs so you don’t have to starve yourself. Also another easy way out, borrowing doesn’t only get it all paid, it also makes it easier for you to live one credit day at a time. So now, you don’t even have to explain anything because it’ll be over before anyone could ever know anything.

The Drawback: You have to understand all the terms and conditions of your loan before signing and agreeing to anything. Remember that a 12-month deferred payment doesn’t mean you can skip the monthly dues and just pay the sum on the 12th month. Borrowed amounts will always have a corresponding interest rate so you’re going to pay for the amount you borrowed plus more. Take note of the interest rate and weigh your capability to pay up for the additional costs.

Solution 3: Starve Yourself

If your pride takes over most of your decision-making skills, you can always opt to spend the 90% of your income to pay up for the dues and keep the 10% to sustain only the most needed everyday necessities. The good about this is that you don’t solve one problem and start an entire new one. Unlike borrowing, paying up using your own resources doesn’t build up an entire statement of account of just accumulated interest.

The Drawback: This will leave you too little to spend on yourself and your needs, and it has a possibility of running out in less time more than you’ve expected. You may also not have enough to spare for your savings, and you may not be able to buy simple luxuries for quite a long time.

Best Ways To Cope Up With Shame About Money

Everyone experiences financial problems at least at one point of their lives. It is indeed very shameful when you know you have a job but can’t pay the bills, even worse when you see the purchases that brought the problem in the first place just sitting in your garage and waiting for its disposal. When you know you’ve made mistakes about your purchases, your ability to think quickly and make good choices is also being questioned, making the guilt grow bigger and your ego smaller.

It is always better to avoid financial complications and solve it before it even comes up. But in case it pops up anyway, remember this:

  1. You are always bigger than the cash you have in your wallet. If you’re out of money, it doesn’t mean you’re less of a person. Everyone have their own skeletons, and your self-confidence and credibility should not be put in the line because your paycheck only says $500.00.
  2. Keep your bills on check. Do not let it pile up until its gets impossible for you to pay up.
  3. If you can’t pay in cash, don’t buy it with your card. Unless it’s very important, of course.
  4. Keep your expenses within budget. You can’t afford more unnecessary spending.

Stop Feeling Ashamed