Understanding the roots of Jealousy

by Osho

What makes you jealous?. Possessiveness. Jealousy itself is not the root. You love a women, you love a man, and you want to possess the person just out of fear that perhaps tomorrow they may move with somebody else. The fear of tomorrow destroys your today, and it is a vicious circle. If every day is destroyed because of the fear of tomorrow, sooner or later the person is going to look for some other partner because you are just a pain in the neck. And when the man starts looking for another woman, or the woman starts moving with another man, you think your jealousy has proved right. In fact it is your jealousy that has created the whole thing.

So the first thing to remember is, don't be bothered about tomorrows. Today is enough!. Somebody loves you. Let this be a day of joy, a day of celebration. Be so totally in love that your totality and your love will be enough for the other person not to move away from you. Your jealousy will push the person away; only your love can keep him or her with you. The other's jealousy will push you away; their love can keep you.

Don't think of tomorrow. The moment you think of tomorrow, your living today remains half-hearted. Just live today and forget tomorrow; it will take its own course. And remember one thing, that tomorrow is born out of today. If today has been such a beauty of experience, such a blessing, why be worried about it?.

Someday the man you have loved, the women you have loved, may find somebody else. It is simply human to be happy, but your woman is happy with somebody else. It does not make any difference whether she is happy with you or happy with somebody else, she is happy. And if you love her so much, how can you destroy her happiness?.

A real love will be happy even if the partner feels joyous with somebody else. In this situation, when a woman is with somebody else, and you are still happy and you are still grateful to the woman you tell her, "You have absolute freedom, just be totally happy and that is my happiness. With whom you are happy is insignificant, what is significant is your happiness". My feeling is that she cannot remain away from you for long, she will be back. Who can leave such a man?.

Your jealousy destroy everything, your possessiveness destroys everything. You have to understand what you are gaining out of it. You are burning in the fire, and the more you become jealous and angry and hateful, the more you are pushing the other person far away from you. It is simple arithmetic that it is not going to help, you are destroying the very thing that you want to preserve. It is simply idiotic.

Try to understand a simple fact, human beings are human beings. once in a while everybody gets bored being with the same person all the time. Be factual, don't live in fictions. Once in a while , everybody gets fed up, that does not mean your love has stopped, it simple means a little change needed. It is good for your health, it is good for your partner's health. You both need a little holiday from each other. Why not do it consciously? . We are feeling stuck, so what about having a week's holiday? . I love you, you love me, that is such a certainty that there is no fear.

What you think about others is basically a declaration of what you think about yourself. That's why you say, though I know my wife is innocent, still I am suspicious. You will remain suspicious till something in you drops. It is not a question about the wife, all questions when they arise are really about you.

Copyright © Osho. Emotional Wellness: Transforming Fear, Anger, and Jealousy into Creative Energy . Book excerpt. Page 149 of 166.